I've always spoke my mind but my heart was always a different thing so i write about what i feel. I still havent met someone like myself so that makes me feel weird and outcast. This is me:
There are moments in life when something clicks on different levels, moments that make a difference, moment that become long lasting memories. Even if i realise we just know each other just a little meeting you became for me one of those moments. I think i can call it a crush. I liked you.
Everybody has been through some shit at one point in their life and i've changed because of that. I dont know why but with you the bad went away, you made me feel at ease, a serenity i forgot i felt at some point, when young and careless.
You have been on my mind often, more then you should have been. I'm not hoping anything, i know how you feel and i was ok with the idea. At least with what i had in mind. We werent on the same level. I dont want a relationship cause i aint ready for one. I've always jumped from one to another with no good endings, so fun was a pleasant idea. But i am not on call. Thats how i feel now, like a free call girl. So fun for me wasnt about sex. From this type of "friends with benefits" i want the first too, not just the second. And i expect things from my friends, maybe i cant choose who i like on a romantic level but the friends i can pick with my head.
I think i bored you already so i'm finishing this: i am not ok with the current situation, i deleted your number so that i wont be tempted to contact you and feel awkward after since you dont even text a hello on your own. I'd rather just stop any connection now then do this to end up hurt, cause i know i will.