I can't really control the way i feel. I'm so mesmerised by the bursting of thoughts flying thru my head that its hard to think straight. Or talk right. You arent often on my mind...More like i can't really stop thinking about you. I wish i could show u my heart.

Bad timing.

The clock is runing forward and time is late again

i keep on wishfull thinking as you are next to me

But when i try to reach you keep escaping this.

You're calling for tomorrow

I answered yeterday.

We're going round in circles 

Yet never end in place

For fear of falling harder and way over our heels

Its shame to keep on looking so far from where we'll be

For now its laughs and giggles to warm us in this night

Till sun comes up to tear us and our dream apart.

Run away heart!
never needed your help.
Uve been numb for a reason
Always kept to yourself

Go as far as wind takes you
And see if i care
Youre more stranger then strangers
Living light years away

You cant feel and you know it
Why u try to pretend?
With another fake promise
Of a sweet never end?

Least ill find peace
With you gone from my life
I wont worry for nothing
With u out of my sight.

Either go or be dead
Here ive counted your days
Youll be left out of breath
If you keep with my ways.

What will you find when you're not even looking?
You've been waiting on peace
Though you know it aint coming.
You're not born to be free
When you're chained to surroundings.

Have you ever felt black?
Like you're one with the night?
Screamed to heaven or hell with no sound from your mouth
with no hope in your mind and your eyes with no light?

Standing on the edge of nothing

Looking down into this pit of darkness

The mirror of myself.

I see the sun in everything, the life i love,

The joy of people who suround me, 

I care for each and everything.

Its only one to leave a shadow

Of hatred steaming from inside

One only lost into this mirror

I love it all but hate myself.

Se opreste timpul cand asculti povestea unui zambet,
o mie de cuvinte nespuse sunt
In umbrele privirii care te arde incet
Esti orb esti surd esti mut.

Mai strigi o data vantul sa duca catre soare
Un stop de nebunie sa nu mai poti gandi
Cand tu esti luna si cauti noapte
Dar tot in umbre de lumina vrei sa fi

Iti lasi din nou privirea alunecand spre soare
Si calci pe constiinta, nu te mai poti opri
Cum sa spui stop cand totul e culoare
Peste alb negrul vesnic in care ai trait.

I've always spoke my mind but my heart was always a different thing so i write about what i feel. I still havent met someone like myself so that makes me feel weird and outcast. This is me:
There are moments in life when something clicks on different levels, moments that make a difference, moment that become long lasting memories. Even if i realise we just know each other just a little meeting you became for me one of those moments. I think i can call it a crush. I liked you.
Everybody has been through some shit at one point in their life and i've changed because of that. I dont know why but with you the bad went away, you made me feel at ease, a serenity i forgot i felt at some point, when young and careless.
You have been on my mind often, more then you should have been. I'm not hoping anything, i know how you feel and i was ok with the idea. At least with what i had in mind. We werent on the same level. I dont want a relationship cause i aint ready for one. I've always jumped from one to another with no good endings, so fun was a pleasant idea. But i am not on call. Thats how i feel now, like a free call girl. So fun for me wasnt about sex. From this type of "friends with benefits" i want the first too, not just the second. And i expect things from my friends, maybe i cant choose who i like on a romantic level but the friends i can pick with my head.
I think i bored you already so i'm finishing this: i am not ok with the current situation, i deleted your number so that i wont be tempted to contact you and feel awkward after since you dont even text a hello on your own. I'd rather just stop any connection now then do this to end up hurt, cause i know i will.

When its easy to hear silence filing the space
And the time freezes over
You can hear your heart beating its way out of place
and you dream on forever.

He cant see your soul screaming
you cant talk you cant move
and your voice,slowly dying,
Keeps inside all the truth.

Can you stop breathing harder?
Would you give your last breath?
Just for him to be under
and all over your space?

Let him be on his way, Let him go, you keep still
you cant move from your past
you can wish you can feel
All the same for some reason
nothing ever feels real.